Orderly Dmpstrs Excursion in Wetware Manipulation

[DIzzIE]

Orderly Dumpsters: An Excursion in Wetware Manipulation

BY: DIzzIE [c]opyleft2003

One problem that I'm sure many dumpster divers have faced is disorganized dumpsters; dumpsters with wide open bags/boxes, the contents strewn all over the place.

While on the other hand this may benefit the dumpster diver, allowing him/her to clearly see the contents of the dumpster, it may also have an adverse effect when the time comes to take the goods out (as any seasoned dumpster diver will admit, it is much better to haul as much as you can and inspect the bounty later, versus sticking around in the dumpster itself), or when one wants to look deeper than the first layer of 'trash.'

Thus, here is an experimental solution that may ensure that your favorite dumpsters will remain orderly.

For our sample scenario, let us say our favourite dumpster is that of a bookstore that regularly tosses away its magazines and books straight into the dumpster, without bothering to put them into sealed boxes, thus making the life of the dumpster diver unnecessarily difficult when he/she has to waste time putting the literature back in the boxes (if there even are boxes in the dumpster at all). The solution then, is relatively straight forward. All one must do is place a call to the store (in our example, the bookstore) that utilizes the dumpster in question, claiming to be a representative of the city's waste disposal department (for the specific name of the waste disposal company, look at the stickers on the dumpster) and complaining about all the loose trash. A sample conversation follows:

Clerk: Hello, thank you for calling Bookworld, my name is Marshal, how may I help you?
Dumpster Diver: Hello Marshal, this is Gary Vinton [pseudonym here], managing supervisor of BFI Waste Removal Services [name of local waste disposal organization] for Phoenix, AZ [your location here]. Could I please speak to the manager?
Clerk: Just a moment please.
Manager: Hello, this is Cindy Smith, manger of Bookworld, how may I help you?
DD: Hi Cindy, this is Gary Vinton [pseudonym here], managing supervisor of BFI Waste Removal Services [name of local waste disposal organization] for Phoenix, AZ. I'm calling today about a concern some of my regular employees have repeatedly expressed. It seems, Cindy, that every week that my pickers empty your dumpster, there are loose papers flying all over the place. As a result, my men have to get out, and pick up all the extra papers and magazines and such. As I'm sure you understand, this takes up valuable time, making them behind schedule, which, in turn, makes me look bad to my boss.
M: I see...
DD: So I'm calling today to ask you to please start enforcing a policy of securely placing your paper waste in sealed boxes. We've been having this problem with lots of book/newsstand chains, and I've already talked to most of them and they've all agreed to cooperate. I hope you'll do the same Cindy?
Cindy: Oh, alright I suppose...
DD: Thanks so much for your cooperation, just be sure to inform whoever is in charge of taking out the trash to pack the recyclables into boxes, and to make sure the normal trash bags are properly sealed as well; this will help us all run more smoothly. Have a great day.
Cindy: Will do, goodbye
DD: Bye bye

[janke]

nice, i think ill try a Barne's and Noble's
great idea ;D

[the Pharmacist]

I guess there are many people in this world who are susceptable to social engineering. I just don't see how someone would actually submit to a practice such as boxing their books and magazines. This would raise labor costs slightly for one thing, as your employees would have to spend more time packaging trash. Second, I would refuse to alter the way I do things just to accomodate someone who works for a service I PAY them to provide. If the bastard who"works for BFI" complains about the situation causing him to look bad, I would just tell them to cancel my account since I am causing such a disruption of service. Then "he" could explain to his boss how he lost a contract that was worth more than the slight labor cost increases.

Social engineering works both ways. Don't submit to anything that compromises free will and intelligent thought. Always consider why you are being asked to do something before you blindly do it.

[MB]

Dumpster diving has to be the coolest activitie you can do in your free time. I would like to see a thread just on dumpster diving if you could make one I'd apriciate it.

[D°©tª·D [DD]]

You guys really pick through people's trash?!

[Stone]

I know a guy who built a nearly a full PC from parts he found in a dumpster outside a computer shop that closed down. I never went and done anything like that though.

[MB]

I would never dumpster dive in regular trash! I would however have a go through Barnes&Nobles or maybe the malls trash. RadioShack has tons of coax I've heard.

[Prometheus]

You could also take an emtpy bin-liner (dumpster bag?) and place it over the open end of the trash can then turn the can upside down. The contents will then use gravity to your happiness and enter the bag. Then you make off with the "swag". Of course if its a large dumpster you will need the assistance of The Incredible Hulk...

[Kakkaraun]

I don't know if many people would submit to this, but as it's experimental, I'll try it. Eventually. I'll have to wait about a month before I get back home, then I'll go about it and post my results.